I always resented the fact that I had to stay with my mother when my parents divorced. My brother, Dylan got to choose who he lived with and he chose our dad. I’m only two years younger and I knew what I wanted but I was treated like a little kid. I love both my parents pretty much equally I guess. Dylan and I were really close, though, and it was tough basically becoming an only child overnight.
Even though the divorce was my mother’s idea, she was really bitter about it. I guess she was bitter for a long time, but now that it was out in the open, she didn’t have to pretend. She was also hurt that Dylan didn’t stay with us. In her mind, it should be the family against the dad that “abandoned all of us.” I guess Dylan abandoned her, too. She never tried to keep me away from dad, but there was always an unspoken expectation that I would choose her, and I didn’t.
I love my dad and my brother. When I would go visit, we were happy and had so much fun together. I know part of that was because they both went out of their way to entertain me and dad wanted to compensate for not being there and leaving me with my mother. There was just something special between them, especially over the past year or so. I thought maybe it was because, now that dad has changed jobs and he’s not always working, he was around more.
Then I started getting in trouble. I didn’t mean to. I don’t know. I guess I was angry, frustrated and hurting. I couldn’t tell my mother because it just would have made things worse. I was supposed to be her sweet boy. Us against the world. I couldn’t tell my dad because it would make him feel more guilty than ever. I guess they both ended up hurt because nobody understood what was happening with me. I wouldn’t even tell Dylan… (read more in Gaycest on Carnal+…)
